Sunday, 24 March 2013

on detering a snack obsessed man...


My husband drives us all crazy. He's a snack food junky. Which would be fine - if he stuck to his own snack food. I've lost count of the times I've opened the pantry for something to put in the kid's lunch boxes, only to find that it's all gone. He'll eat everything - crisps, fruit bars, jelly snakes, crackers, cheese cubes - it really doesn't matter. Funnily enough, he never touches the fruit! We've tried hiding the kids snacks around the kitchen, but he always seems to find them. Making him feel guilty doesn't stop him. When it comes to snacks, he can overlook guilt. Once, I made 36 muffins to take to a class I was teaching. I left them on the counter and went to bed. My husband came home after his shift at midnight and ate all of them. 36 muffins for a snack!!! Okay, so they were small, but still - 36? You'd think that eating like a pig would put him in the large range, but nope, he's still thin and fit. Whereas I don't eat the kids treats, or snack on a truck load of baked goods, and I'm the one on a diet. Life sucks sometimes.
 
A group treat, or one man's midnight snack?!
 
Anyway, the girls and I decided we'd had enough of his piggy ways. Containers marked 'girls only' weren't working. A padlock on the cupboard didn't work. Nothing. So we decided to try something new. When my husband went to work we made some candy treats - out of melt-and-mould soap! I wish I'd thought to take a picture. Once we'd melted the soap and poured it into moulds, it looked exactly like little sugar treats. We put them in a tub in the fridge marked it girls only - he ate two before he realised there was a problem! Seriously. I married a human garbage disposal.

mine didn't look this good!

This isn't the first time he's done this. I used to make face creams that I kept clearly labelled in the fridge. He spread a jar of the stuff on his sandwiches and took them to work. And ate the blooming things. He then came home complaining of an upset stomach and demanding what kind of sandwich spread I bought these days. THE KIND THAT COMBATS WRINKLES!

this is so close to the truth!!
As I write this, I'm listening to my husband and the girls play hide and seek. The youngest hasn't grasped the concept yet so when my husband says 'where are you?' she just answers, then she tells him where her sister is! Very funny. But it also means that they're working up an appetite and it will be snack time soon. Wonder if there's any soap left...

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