Wednesday, 19 December 2012

random thoughts from an insomniac...

A friend of mine told me about her mother-in-law this week. Apparently years ago, her mother-in-law had a terrible stroke and slipped into a coma. Already in her advanced years the hospital pronounced that there was no hope. They told the family to get her affairs in order and say their goodbyes - which they did. They sold her house, gave her clothes to a charity shop and divided up her belongings throughout the family according to sentiment. Then they went back to the hospital to say one more goodbye...only to find her sitting up in bed, talking!

 She lived another four years. Most of them spent grumpy about her clothes being given away. The funniest part was, my friend went back to the charity shop when she discovered her mother-in-law was very much alive. She explained that they had accidentally given away her clothes. The women in the shop were very understanding, they helped her look for any of the clothes that hadn't sold - then they made her pay for them before she left!

 I have no idea why I'm blogging about this, other than it's past midnight and I can't get to sleep. Kept thinking about this story, about how funny it was and wondering how I could weave it into a book. I came up blank, obviously it needs a better writer to do it justice.  But it did make me think about all the funny stories we store, stories about our lives that we love to tell other people.

 Today I asked my readers to send me their humorous experiences with underwear. Bear with me here, I should have been asleep hours ago. I'm writing a book set in a lingerie shop and wondered if anyone had any entertaining lingerie stories. I'm getting some good stuff!

 My stories involving underwear mainly revolve around my three year old. I didn't realise, until I had children, just how precious the privacy of the changing room is. Now when I try on lingerie my three year old gives a running commentary to anyone listening. She tells everyone, in that loud, carrying voice of hers,  all about what I'm trying on and whether it fits or suits me. There's nothing quite so sobering as having your child describe your boobs at the top of her voice. You can actually hear the other customers laughing.  Once it was so humiliating that I peeked out the changing room to see if the coast was clear for a quick exit. When I glanced down, I found my daughter peering up at me from under the changing room door. "It's okay, mum," she shouted, "no one cares about your boobs." And that, sadly, is pretty much true!

 If you have any underwear disasters, or stories that make you laugh, then send me a message or an email. I'd love to hear them. You never know, you might see a version of it turn up in one of my books!
p.s. I'm publishing this blog now, but have a horrible feeling I might regret it in the morning. If I ever get to sleep that is...
p.p.s If I could find a babysitter I'd shop for underwear alone!

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